Dietary Dogma

Full course dinner

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Richard Nikoley, the man behind the health and fitness blog Free the Animal, subscribes to a rigorously scientific, “Paleo-esque” view of human health and nutrition. He takes crap from vegans and vegetarians for his promotion of the consumption of (grass-fed, organic, humanely treated) meat. He takes crap from low-carbers and certain Paleo Diet adherents for promoting the occasional potato or plate of rice. He takes crap from low-faters for promoting cooking with butter. And on and on. He takes crap from a LOT of people for not viewing nutrition in absolute, black and white terms.

Recently a reader gave him crap for promoting the consumption of fruit. (That’s right–fruit, that nasty sweet stuff full of evil sugar!) He responded with a post that included a toungue-in-cheek sample meal plan demonstrating the ease with which–with equal opportunity–he can perturb food-fundamentalists of all stripes:


Breakfast is eggs cooked in butter, with bacon and fruit; Lunch is a salad with grilled chicken or salmon; Dinner is a big steak and potato. (pisses off: low fatters, low carbers, vegetarians, egg white eaters and some paleos)


Skip breakfast; Lunch is the biggest steak you can find, nothing else; Dinner is a hunk of meat and a salad. (pisses off: dietitians, nutritionists, vegetarians, some paleos)


Nothing; fast day. (pisses off: dietitians, nutritionists, the USDA, the farmers who grow your hearthealthywholegrains, and just about everyone)


Breakfast is a huge amount of fruit, like two cantaloup or honey dew, or a big watermelon; Lunch is nothing; Dinner is a big helping of steamed white rice along with a meat, fish or fowl choice.  (pisses off: see above)


Breakfast is meat. Lunch is meat. Dinner is meat; a zero carb day.  (pisses off: Catholics, high carbers, – vegetarians and vegans contemplate suicide)


Breakfast is eggs with meat and fried potatoes; Lunch is fish with vegetables; Dinner is raw fish, raw oysters and any additional seafood you like. (pisses off: Catholics for being a day late, low fatters, low carbers, vegetarians, some Paleos)


Breakfast is two Bloody Mary’s chased with steak, eggs, potatoes and toast of choice; Lunch is a gin or vodka martini chased with pasta of choice; have a slice of pizza as an afternoon snack; Dinner is 1/3 to 1/2 bottle of single malt scotch and the biggest piece of rare prime rib you can find within 100 miles. (pisses off: Everyone)

I particularly like when he waxes philosophical:

Just eat real food, eat it often and exclusively — except now and then — enjoy your life, and create opportunities to socialize and share food with others.

Get good sleep, give your lover a decent f*cking, and laugh at anyone and everyone who wants to prescribe a life for you, especially as concerns politics and its whores.

Richard may be a bit brash, perhaps, but he sure knows how to make a point and keep things interesting. In some ways he’s kind of the Christopher Hitchens of the nutrition world.



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