Will Fido Be Left Behind?

If you believe in the Rapture and have a beloved pet, have you ever considered who will care for it after you are taken up into heaven? Well, a clever, entrepreneurial group of nonbelievers has. Eternal Earth-Bound Pets, USA offers to care for any pet who has been left behind for a mere $110.00:

Our service is plain and simple; our fee structure is reasonable.
For $110.00 we will guarantee that should the Rapture occur within ten (10) years of receipt of payment, one pet per residence will be saved.  Each additional pet at your residence will be saved for an additional $15.00 fee. A small price to pay for your peace of mind and the health and safety of your four legged and feathered friends.

Business is starting to pick up: they’ve sold about 200 contracts since June 2009. I did notice that they don’t currently have a representative for the state of Illinois, so I’m thinking about contacting them to offer my services. On the other hand, I’m more tempted to become a competitor: I would match their price and crush their 10-year guarantee. I’m thinking maybe 25 years would do the trick, although I might create a tiered fee schedule that would add $25 to the base fee for every 5 additional years of coverage. Hey, this thing could really take off! Anybody interested in going in on this with me?


2 comments on “Will Fido Be Left Behind?

  1. George P
    July 30, 2010 at 3:11 pm #

    Absolutely hilarious. Sounds like something you’d find in the Onion.

  2. Louis
    July 30, 2010 at 5:19 pm #

    What do you say, George? Are you in with me? We could make a killing!

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